Unravelling

I didn't think it would be such a big deal, putting Diva Girl on the bus this morning. I mean, I knew it was a big deal for her, but I didn't understand what it meant for me until the big yellow bus turned the corner and I was left behind with just a quick glimpse of her bravely smiling face as it flashed by on the way into the unknown.

I didn't expect to feel this sense of disconnect, like I've somehow been left out of the loop. Which, really, I have. Riding the school bus isn't just a big step for Brina, it's a big change for both of us. I'm used to knowing the names of the kids on the playground, having at least a passing acquaintance with the parents, and being able to put names to faces with most of the teachers--not too surprising when you consider that for the past six years, I've been a pretty regular fixture at drop off and pick up at a small neighbourhood school. I suppose I still technically dropped her off, since I saw her onto the bus but it feels different, leaving before I see her safely in the door.

I know, I know, she's nearly nine years old and certainly doesn't need me to hold her hand all the way to her classroom anymore. And I certainly don't tend to think of myself as a protective or helicopter parent. But I guess there are still a few apron stings left to untie, because let me be honest here, I'm probably more unsettled than she is by this whole bus thing this morning.

First there was the panic to get there--it's only a 5 minute walk from our house, but still, there's really not the laissez-faire option of "meh, I'll just take you in for a late slip" if we time it wrong. We didn't, and ended up spending about 10 minutes playing tag before I waved her on her merry way, but still, we could have (and knowing us, probably will) missed it. Then she was gone, and I found my head crowded with all sorts of what ifs: will she have someone to sit with? Will they be nice to her? Will she know what to do when she gets off? Will she get into school ok? I know it's silly--there will either be someone to sit with or there won't; they will be mean or they won't' and really, how difficult is it to get off a bus and hang out in the playground? I'm pretty sure a fairly bright fourth grader can manage it. But how will I know? How will I know that she got to her classroom safe if I don't watch her go? I guess I'll just have to take it on faith.

Good thing she's going to a Catholic school now.

Comments

You're lucky you got to wait until 4th grade! I put all 4 of mine on the bus for kindergarten and that was really rough. Now they are bus riding pros! In fact they much prefer riding the bus to me taking them because it gives them those extra few minutes of social time with friends. I bet she will do great!

sniffle. this is what i have to look forward to?

OMG! You're a fellow blogger and you attack me on my page?! tHANKS, very professional.

Professional? snort. yes, altering comments is incredibly professional.

I didn't realize that gleefully relating how you run down other mothers and then defending your rudeness as either "comedy" or "venting" depending on what serves your purposes was professional. My bad. I'll stick to amateur blogs I think.

But publicly, for the record, No, I don't like the Funny Mom blog and I don't want to be painted with the same brush simply because we blog at the same place. Frankly, I think it's disgusting, and I'm embarrassed to be even loosely associated with it.

I think there's a lot of room in parenting for a lot of different types of mothers--but the judgmental, mommier-than-thou, I'm the best, I know everything about YOUR parenting situation and you're wrong crowd isn't one I want to hang with.

What? That's from the woman who writes the attack blog, no? The one disguised as "funny?" Wow. I *really* don't get her now.

Ahahah! Funny, she comes over HERE and bitches about YOU attacking HER on HER own blog and then does it to you!!! What an F'ING hypocrit!

Hey, Eden, Sassy. I get what you're saying, but let's just not do this, ok? I do not want some big blogfight/comments drama with Funny Mom--or anyone else for that matter. The truth is, my comments were kinds harsh and were fired off at the spur of the moment. I probably should have just taken the high road that my mama taught me and kept my mouth shut if I didn't have anything nice to say.

Lets do that now. It's a bit of a climb, but I think if we hold hands, we can all make it.

True dat, true dat! I'm with ya!

My apologies, my comment was kind of posted in the spur of the moment too.