Cognative Dissonance, part 2

Let me just start by saying that I agree with the commenters on the previous post who pointed out that the burqua does not necessarily preclude the presence of the sexy undergarments. In fact, it makes a certain sort of sense that when you are committed to modestly keeping the bits under wraps, you might feel a bit more freedom in immodestly wrapping the bits. At any rate, I was utterly charmed to see the frothy scraps of lace clutched in that gloved hand--and not just because she had such excellent taste in lingerie.

I was less charmed by today's adventure in cultural diversity, however. In fact, I believe the correct term would be "weirded out."

The subject of today's sociological inquiry is again an Muslim woman. This time observed with her tween daughter in the toy department at the local WalMart. The woman is clearly Orthodox, marked out by the veil and gloves complete her chador. Judging by the small rectangle of skin that reveals her eyes, I don't think she's Arab, however. The eyes are bright blue, and the skin around them is as pale as mine. Her daughter, dressed modestly in jeans and a tee shirt but without the hijab, looks to be about Diva Girl's age, and her colouring bears out my assumption about the mother.

I confess, my internal eyebrow raises a bit at this; it's just so unexpected, to find a Western woman covered up like this. It challenges all of my Western sensibilities, living as I am in a culture where the tramp stamp reigns supreme. But I have to confess, part of me admires this challenge to the type of feminism that has a burning bra as it's defining symbol. Not that I will ever don a burqua myself, but there is something about being so confident in yourself, so comfortable in your place as a woman that you willingly choose to hide yourself from the world like this that is very powerful. I am impressed by the confidence and faith this woman shows, proudly wearing her veil among the bellyshirted masses.

I am less impressed by her taste in toys. And definitely confused. I do not understand how any mother would buy her tween daughter a Bratz doll. I mean, given the way they've muscled Barbie out of the pink aisle, clearly there are lots of mothers who do understand the appeal of buying dolls that look like they belong on a streetcorner, offering Ken a "date" for their daughters. I just really never considered that a woman who believes in female modesty to the point that she is only shows her eyes in public would be among them.

I can easily reconcile the seemingly antithetical ideas that a woman who hides everything from public consumption will not necessarily display the same degree of modesty beneath those robes. I cannot for the life of me, however, figure out how a toybox full of Bratz will help her to pass those values along to her daughter.


August 21, 2007 at 11:25am | Permalink | Comments (17)

Comments

Lower back tattoos were originally called goddess tattoos. Drunken frat boys came up with the term "tramp stamp" and I'm sorry to hear you repeat it.

Posted by Emily on August 21 at 02:28pm

Nope. Don't get this at all. Someone who has spent time considering the issue of modesty, and who has opted for such a rigourous expression of it would, one would think, be repulsed by the Bratz dolls and the message they give to malleable children.

Very weird.

Posted by MaryP on August 21 at 07:46pm

Sorry Emily, but those frat boys must have been showing some uncharacteristic insight. Encourageing men to peek down the back of one's pants is just about as tacky as it gets.

Posted by Swanhilde on August 22 at 12:08am

Hmm. I work in a highly muslim community and it's not uncommon for the girls to ask for Bratz videos, although they come to the library without parents to tell them otherwise. But in this case? Yeah, I find the contrast odd, too, from a mother who has chosen to wear the fullest version of purdah. I suppose it could come down to someone wanting her daughter to make up her own mind? who sees them as just dollies? But still, even though I think these things, too, I think giving them to your child is an endorsement of them, and I won't go there with Bratz myself.

Posted by kittenpie on August 22 at 12:59pm

I've never heard those lower back tatoos called a goddess tatoo. I've heard tramp stamp (funny!) and skank tag (funnier!), but never goddess tatoo. I myself do not have one, but I know those who do. They're neither (for the most part) tramps or skanks, but that doesn't stop me from making fun of them!!
Anyway, regardless of a mother's modesty or lack there of, I am more shocked at not just how many mothers buy the Bratz dolls for their daughters, but how many DRESS them like the Bratz dolls. Realistically, tweens are not buying thier own clothing, so it's really the mothers (parents) who are making them look like little, under age whores.

Posted by LilMissSassyPants on August 22 at 01:18pm

If anyone watched californication the other night, there was a more...interesting explanation for tramp stamps.

I don't get the allure of Bratz. My daughters see them and are trained to say "ew. Yucky Brats dolls are garbage."

Ah. Bliss.

Posted by thordora on August 22 at 03:49pm

I am muslim. I was born and raised in America. I am as Western,if not more, than some of the posters on here...and I cover up with hijab.
I let my 7 year old daughter buy almost whatever toys suit her fancy...they are just toys....she plays house with them, she pushes them around in a stroller. she does not have an opinion about what they supposedly portray because I am letting her enjoy her childhood....and thats all it is
She is too young to comprehend anything other than they are dolls. When she gets to the age that she does comprehend, I hope she will be over playing with dolls anyways.
Just because a person is wearing a hijab doesn't mean they are backwards or ignorant or have no fashion sense...my Victoria's Secret charges and other purchases of the latest fall fashions can attest to that...
I also happen to have a body that most women dream about having....I just dont choose to share a view of my body with the whole world. The less I show, the more its appreciated by the lucky few who do get to see it!

Posted by sumrina on August 23 at 12:50pm

I have to agree with Sumrina's post ... Dolls are just dolls and as long as our daughters are well aware of the fact that a doll (not just a Bratz for that matter, but any doll) should never be considered a role model, I'm ok with her playing with them. I'm not sure if any of you is familiar with the Winx Club dolls and cartoons, but they are also very sexy looking dollies with some very short dresses, but when I hear my daughter and her cousins playing Winx, for them, is all about the fact that they are fairies, the magic and the enchantrix and all of that, so why would I deny her the pleasure of playing with her doll when all she wants is to be is a fairy magic princess and she's not even thinking about the skinny body or the sexy dress?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending Bratz dolls, I'm not particulary attracted to them either, but I do believe that as long as I'm passing on the right values to my child and reinforcing them with my own behavior, it doesn't matter what doll she plays with.

Posted by Vany on August 23 at 01:37pm

But if they were called "Hooker" dolls, would you still think it ok to play with them? Or would that be different? Would they be bad then?

We have a culture saturated with sexuality-childre pick up enough of it-can't their childhood be without bratz or winx or any of the multitude of sleazy looking toys? (and don't get me started on the clothing choices available for little girls these days-another lovely trickle down effect, in my mind, of the allowance of trashy toys)

Posted by thordora on August 23 at 02:20pm

I'm also not a big fan Bratz Dolls, but I see them as being in the same category as a typical Barbie Doll. Both products portray girls/women in a problematic way: Barbie with her unrealistic body image, and Bratz with the heavy makeup.
I think you should be more wary of observing women from other cultures or religions as "other." As Sumrina pointed out, just because she wears a hijab does not mean she becomes an anomaly in the products she buys.

Posted by jody on August 23 at 02:24pm

Toys, and child's play, are the fundamental learning tools of this age group. Bratz dolls normalize the image of young women as sex objects, and normalize the idea that the proper concerns of girls and young women are shopping, gossiping, working on their 'image' and trying to attract the attention of men.

Just dolls? Too young to comprehend? You people are deluded.

Posted by Kirsten on August 23 at 06:31pm

I think the Bratz are great role models. The folks who don't like them always say the same things. The faces are pretty, what is wrong with that? Their hair is pretty, so? The Bratz lines have sports dolls, dolls with jobs, and these are teen characters- to say Barbie has had "jobs" is silly, she better have some kind of job she is an adult, for teen characters to have various jobs it's great. I am looking at my kid's Bratz right now, the newest one she got for her birthday is Scuba Katia. She is imagining saving dolphins with her. It's an adult's odd problem to look at a doll and think "sex". I see my kid's friends playing Bratz and it's pretty dolls to them. If a child is acting out in bad ways it's not a doll's fault. The Bratz line has a story where they make a magazine on their own and my child made her own pretend magazine. If there is something wrong it's not a toy's fault. Barbie is what most adults played with as kids and she came from a hooker doll. I think most of us came out fine.

Posted by Tamara on April 23 at 02:43pm

ohh what a great writing style..i really appreciate your blog..well done

Posted by Mens Underwear on May 28 at 12:01am

This is blog is a good example of knowledge..i like it..

Posted by Maui Weddings on May 28 at 12:03am

Its a great blog..i m impressed by your writing style..keep the good working.

Posted by Mens Underwear on June 04 at 12:11am

good posting all around..nice to read it..

Posted by Oakley Sunglasses on June 30 at 02:50am

Great tips and great resources.

Posted by Leogreen on August 06 at 06:03am

Post a comment

Name

URL

Comments


characters left.
 
Back to Parenting

About Me

You say "Single Mom," I say "Solo Mom." In my world, it's all about having your priorities in order, and getting my whites whiter than white is never, ever going to be a priority. Helping my girls paste glitter to their artwork, that's a priority. Sometimes I hide in the bathroom to get a bit of peace and quiet. But I never have to share the kisses.

Recent Entries

RSS

Favorite Posts

Archives

Favorite Links