The Obligatory BlogHer Post (sort of)

So, I guess there should be a BlogHer roundup post, eh? (I see you there in the back row rolling your eyes, you know. I promise not to blather forever, but please, bear with me.)

I'll be honest, before we left the thing that excited me most about going to BlogHer was the idea of four whole days without The Ladies. Yes, I am a bad mother (not that kind. The really bad kind who doesn't love her kids and blah blah blah guilt, whatever.) because no, I didn't feel guilty about it. Heck, when I left them with my parents, I didn't even miss them. I may have even skipped a little. I've never had an opportunity to be totally free and unfettered without my children, and while I wasn't exactly planning on a girls gone wild kind of weekend, I was certainly giddy with the idea of all those pillows to myself and the headspace to go with them.

I was excited about the conference too; the tracks themselves looked intriguing and I'm enough of a geek to get excited about the idea that a group of people are going to get together and talk serious ideas, but my one experience with Toronto Trek--the highlight of which was the aforementioned pirate--was enough to throw a splash of skepticism on my dreams of heady intellectualism. BlogHer was like Toronto Trek for me in more than just the conferences; for me, it was also all about the fandom. Only this time, instead of Anthony Stewart Head and Jason Carter, it was a whole cadre of women I've read for years. Or have been too afraid to read, just because they are so awesome. I was a bit disappointed that Mir and Melissa have real lives and didn't attend this year, but a bit relieved too; sure, I wouldn't get to stare at them from afar until they felt all creeped out and uncomfortable, and probably nobody would put down a drink and remark on the fabulousness of my dress mid sentence (totally happened, I swear), but that was probably a good thing because although I'm sure they would have been lovely and generous about the weirdness, if only to buy the time to back away slowly, I really didn't want to be the weird, tongue tied girl in the corner.

So, while I was also excited to meet the BlogHers, it wasn't exactly a priority of mine. More like a fear. Bordering on phobia. You see, contrary to all logic, I am shy. Very, very shy. Particularly around women. If Buddygate taught us anything, it is that I am not good with groups of women; I wasn't when I myself was a Diva Girl, and I'm not any better now that I'm the mommy. The idea of going into a large group of strangers--female strangers at that--well, it sparked a few nightmares. The fact that I do recognize some of the names and faces made it even worse on some levels. Would they think I was a blithering idiot? A poseur? An annoyance or a joke? All very real possibilities, but when balanced against four days in a hotel without The Ladies, a risk I was willing to take.

I'm so glad I did, and not just because 4 days alone (if you can call being with 700 other women alone) was everything I'd hoped it would be; being with those 700 women was everything I'd hoped it could be, but was so afraid it wouldn't be. Yes, there was drama--Manifest Destiny Mom's plan to annex Canada springs to mind, although, now that I think about it, we were all very Canadian and polite about it and she probably has no idea of what a colossal gaffe she made--but there was far less drama than you'd expect with that many women who haven't pooped in that small a space. Sure some of the sessions were a little milquetoast, but some weren't, and nearly all had at least something to offer, if only the opportunity to fondle and cuddle somebody's teeny tiny baby (I am totally predicting a BlogHer babyboom, by the way. And no, I won't be part of it.)

The main reason I'm glad I did BlogHer is because it was a real triumph for me, personally. Not because I think it will make me a blogstar or anything, but because it was such a scary thing for me to do--to drive for 14 hours with someone I've never met, room with someone I've never met, walk alone into a cocktail party full of fabulous strangers who all seem to be BFFs (not that they are, and tomorrow I will tell you how fabulously nice everyone was, it just felt like that as an outsider looking in)...And I did it, and I did it well. Even if I didn't woo a single new reader, and everyone I connected with loses my card and forgets that my blog even exists, I'm proud of me.

So, thank you iVillage for providing me with the bloggership that allowed me to attend the conference, Karen for getting me there, and Lady M for making sure I had a place to stay. Thank you for taking a risk on me so that I could take a risk on myself (and have a four day vacation, because let me tell you, four days to myself was every bit as awesome as I'd hoped it would be).

Comments

It was my pleasure! I'll send pictures when I get my act together.

this is going to sound totally lame but...COOL, i go to Toronto Trek as well. Its now called Polaris though. How many times have you been?

hey there, I know I have already said it but I am totally jealous that I wasn't there, but one day I will be, sounds fantastic.

Everything you just said? Amen.

Just to let you know, this yank is a faithful reader and has been for months! I've just never commented before. Here's to increasing your readership!

Actually we're not BFFs, we're commonlaw blog married. :)

A 14 hour drive? You are a brave woman -- and I get googly over Mir too.

I'm sure you wooed new readers. Maybe they're just shy?

come out, come out, wherever you are, new readers!

Hey there! It is me! From the Friday night dinner! I found your blog finally. It was so nice to meet you. You are lovely and pretty and just a very nice lady. And I didn't think you were shy at all.

I'm not a real mama (just mama to three little dogs), but I love your blog and read it regularly. So not really a new reader, but I figured I should pipe up!

Not sure if I still have your card in that huge pile sitting on my desk, but I remembered where to find you online!

I luuuuurved meeting you. And - I meant what I said about you writing for MBT. PLEASE!

It soumds like fun - I wish there was something like that around here...

New reader chiming in here! So glad to have met you, not to mention see you in your fab jeans. I will be back. Often. Pinky swear.

I SO wish I could have went. Maybe next year. I came over from another BlogHer wrap-up! Enjoyed looking around.

I'm so glad you were able to go and even gladder (is that a word?) that you enjoyed it.