Mother's Day, Solo Style

Mother's Day is not a holiday designed with solo mothers in mind. All of those craft projects and breakfasts in bed so lovingly portrayed in the ads for everything from flowers to diamonds don't happen in a vacuum, after all. Someone has to supervise the children creating these masterpieces, and it stands to reason that when you're the only person in the house authorized to use the scissors or turn on the stove, chances are it's going to be you.

I realized this on my very first Mother's Day; five month olds aren't really known for their gift giving--diaper presents nothwithstanding--and unless you count nursing while lying down, they really don't do breakfast in bed, either. Sure, there was a moment or two that first year spent mourning the loss of the hallmark inspired fantasy, but then the overwhelming sense of freedom set in. As a solo mom, I had the opportunity to truly make Mother's Day my own--to make it all about me in the way most moms can only dream of.

I wouldn't say that I've avoided the commercialization of Mother's Day for the past eight years, but I've certainly engaged with it on my own terms. No sappy Hallmark cards or potted mums (that I will inevitably kill) for me. For me, Mother's Day has been all about indulging myself in whatever whim cannot be justified in the course of the regular budget. Past gifts to myself have included a pedicure, a ridiculously expensive lipgloss, a visit from Molly Maid to scrub the walls and cabinets that I keep meaning to get to but never do. After all, just because no one else is lining up to shower me with tokens of appreciation for all I do doesn't mean I should miss out. Mother’s Day is my excuse to focus on Me and what I want, for a change.

This year, however, is looking different. This year, Diva Girl's awareness of Mother's Day has grown beyond the requisite grade school art project and she's been talking about my present. As though she has something to do with this whole Mother’s Day thing.

In my family, there are two Mother’s Day gifts that have reached the status of legend: The football and The Partridge Family Album.

I don't actually remember the football, but my mom does. Apparently my older brothers were a bit fuzzy on the concept and instead of asking my mom what she wanted for Mother's Day, they spent a month assuring her that what she really wanted, more than anything, was a new football. That year, on the second Sunday in May, my mother's heart's desire was realized when she presented my brothers with their brightly wrapped pigskin. I'm not sure what she got that year, other than the joy of watching her excited boys toss that ball around the backyard. Which I’m sure was nice and all, but still isn’t nearly as great an “all about me” gift as a fabulous new pair of shoes.

I do remember The Partridge Family Album, though; in fact, huddling in my brothers' bedroom gleefully wrapping this record up, certain that it was the absolute best gift ever, is one of my very first memories. We bought this record with our own money for my mother, who was far more into the musical stylings of Conway Twitty than one of the original made for T.V. pop acts. I don’t really remember if her smile was rueful or not as she thanked us for her gift.; I just remember that she smiled, and put the record on.

I’m not sure what Diva Girl will come up with for the big day, although I’m fairly certain that I will be financing her generosity. Part of me mourns the loss of my utterly selfish Mother’s Day, but mostly I think this ability to look outside herself is an exciting development in the path to the person my daughter will be. And really, watching her grow up is the best Mother’s Day present of all.

Comments

I'm sure she'll come up with a Wocko Socko present for you. You deserve the best. And failing that, you really deserve me, all wrapped up in a bow.

I hope that in addition to the best Mother's Day present, you also get to treat yourself to something frivolous and fun!

I told my husband that I'm not his mother, so whatever the kids make me at daycare is a sufficient Mother's Day Gift. I do all the frivolous stuff (pedicure, hair cut and color, eyebrow wax) before Mother's Day, so I look fabulous on my special day.

I absolutely despise Mother's Day. But I try and do something new every year on that day to make my own traditions.

I am lucky in a way - my mum takes my miss out to buy me a present, I normally end up with something I really need but never buy, like knickers or a new purse when the old ones are falling apart! I can tell Tiger has some say in it though, everything she chooses is purple!!

This will be my first mothers day solo. I am looking forward to starting some traditions. We'll see.. :) I love being a mother, so I love "my" day too. :)
Jenny
http://www.blogaboutit.net

Mother's day for me has always been done "flying solo", but this year will be different, in previous years BG and I have gone out for breakfast at "Moxies" Pancakes with citrus/maple syrup and lots of fresh fruit. Then we just cruise through the day, go to the park, visit nana's and friends who are also solo mum's. Dinner used to be had at "Emma's"family restaurant a beautiful roast in a great family atmosphere.
This year we have a little sister, and someone to supervise the mother's day, art, food and shopping. Hope yours turns out as well as I hope mine will.

My mother's day, always solo in the past, has become a huge family extravaganza. I recently moved to the same city as my parents and two sisters (also solo mom's). The result? Huge family bbq at one sis's house. Grandma organized a "demonstration" with the kids. Each kid made a banner for their mom and they marched in yelling "UP WITH MOMS" it was HYSTERICAL! My little girl is only 2 1/2 so she didn't participate in the march...she was probably upstairs decorating my sister's wall with crayons. Sigh. Next year my sisters and I are boycotting the fam and going out to paint pottery....thus making mom's day OURS!