I Feel So Dirty (and Free!)

After a morning spent in Grade One ("That's not the way our teacher does it!"), an afternoon cheering Diva Girl on at the school board dance festival (she was the uncoordinated one in the back row who, by dint of mixing up her left and right, did the entire routine backwards, but not in heels), and an evening of the homework from hell (that's what three days absent and an afternoon off for the dance festival will get you), the last thing I needed was to look at the agenda and find a reminder for the bakesale tomorrow. The bakesale for which I am expected to bake something.

I hate baking. Well, to be fair, I hate cooking in general, but baking falls squarely under the umbrella of that hatred. I only bake on very specific occasions. Unfortunately, the bakesale tends to be one of those specific occasions.

I have never not sent a homebaked treat to the class bakesale. I don't know why, exactly, other than the fact that my own mother always baked something herself, and so it feels like I must carry on this tradition. Somehow, the class bakesale makes me feel like I am living in Harper Valley, and that if I stoop to simply cutting up frozen squares from M&M or artfully arranging bagged chocolate chip cookies on a tray, the other mothers will judge me. Perhaps even my own mother, who did bakesales for five children without ever resorting to the bakery department at the grocery store.

My own mother scoffs at this idea, at this need to measure up and not be unmasked as a fraud in front of the other mommies. My own mother points out that while she worked, it was from home, and while she was busy, it was a different kind of busy; a kind of busy that left time for homemade cupcakes with jellybeans on top. My own mother, it turns out, hated those cupcakes and sees nothing wrong with the dark idea percolating at the back of my mind: The possibility that maybe, just maybe, I don't have to bake the treat myself.

My daughter rebels against this notion, insisting that the goods must be baked. My mother counters with "well, somebody must have baked it, right?" I'm stuck in the middle, seduced by my mother's logic, but afraid my daughter is right, that somehow it doesn't count if you didn't (swear) slave over it yourself.

It's the mommy guilt again. Somehow I feel like I should be trying harder to meet the gold standard of yesteryear instead of taking the easy way out and using a busy lifestyle I chose as an excuse. Somehow, the fact that other moms are in the same boat, and will do the same thing for much the same reason doesn't make me feel any less....less for buying instead of baking. I wonder if my own mother struggled with these same feelings the first time she used a mix instead of starting from scratch?

That, at least, poses no moral dilemma or maternal quandry for me. So far as I'm concerned, all baking starts with a box. And I'm really ok with that. So, I headed off to the grocery store for brownie mix.

I had the best of intentions, I really did. After all, how hard is it to make a batch of premixed brownies? But then I realized that realistically, I would have to bake two batches, one for school and one for home. And that would require washing the pan out twice.

Besides, Oreo cake is way better than brownies, right?

Comments

Hey, I have no issues with buying instead of baking, hell I normally only bake from a box anymore.. who has the time??? I've got the baking stuff I need in the cupboard/freezer/fridge... I've even got the "easy-bake" recipe from different family members... I don't think you should feel guilty about your choice! Besides..your right, one for home... then maybe the other half for the school, if someone doesn't get into them before hand

I am the Mom that calls you while your eating dinner and asks you to bring in something for the bake sale. Let me just say that we don't care who makes it (store or you) as long as you bring something in. There are far less willing to bring in than you would think.Most kids are just happy that "Mom sent this in" than " Mom didn't send in anything" . Don't beat yourself up on how you made it, just know that there is a Mom out there that only has to bring in 1 dozen cookies instead of 2. If you are still beating youself up because you bought the brownies, take 2 minutes and arrage them on a plate and make them look nice.

I totally agree with SweetyPi and trish...you should feel good about having contributed by sending something...period! I have two boys and am always asked to send treats for some event...they are happy to just have something to show up with! Sometimes I take the time to create something myself, other times not. It's all good!

You should have a virtual bake sale where we all share recipes & whomever's is the simplest wins virtual brownies ;)

As a fervent baker, if you had shown up to a bake sale I was coordinating, my only question would be "Will this sell and make money for the school?" If the answer is "yes," put it on the table and let's sell it!

Recipe? What is this recipe of which you speak?

Actually, I thought of you last night. I thought, "Darnit! If Eden were here, I'd just get her to bake it."

Yeah, I have never baked a single item for a bake sale. If they don't want my store-bought goods, they don't have to sell them, but they ain't makin' me bake!

Sometimes I bake, sometimes I buy. I refuse to be consistent. And who made that rule that they "have to" be homemade? Somebody stupid, I'll bet.

When confronted with the indignant "Ms. Brown doesn't do it that way!!!", I countered with, "Well, that makes sense, since I'm not Ms. Brown." It worked on about half of them...