Sleeping Arrangements

Night after night the Zen Baby stands in my doorway, looking for all the world like Cindy Lou Who in her jammies and pig tails. "Mama," she lisps, "my bed is too wobbly...creaky...creepy...noisy...messy...." Take your pick, because she 's really saying the same thing over and over again: "My bed is too lonely."

Operation Take Back the Bed has met with limited success here at chez Solo. Diva Girl has taken up residence in the loft, but the Shaolin Toddler, after a few nights in the big girl bed, has migrated back to Mummy. I know I said that I was lonely and all when they first made the move to their own room, but I'm over that now.

I honestly wouldn't mind so much, if not for the fact that the Shaolin Toddler is an obnoxious bedmate. It was never really an issue when we had the two beds pushed together, but now that we're sharing one bed, I'm realizing how spoiled I was all those years. Regan is a restless sleeper, tossing and turning and thrashing about all. night. long. I'd never realized this before, since that extra bed afforded me a lot of extra room, but now it's kind of hard to miss--especially when I'm jolted out of a deep sleep by a kick in the head or headbutt to the stomach at least once a night.

I could easily solve this problem. I could admit defeat and move her bed into my room. It's what I did when Diva Girl staked her claim on my nighttime real estate, and I know it works. But....I like having my own space. After I got over the strangeness of not sharing my room for the first time in six years, I embraced the freedom, banished the toys, and reveled in my newfound Adults Only Clubhouse. And I don't want to give it up.

Besides, how can I miss her if she's never gone?

Comments

A friend of mine had the same problem with her almost-three-year-old. We brainstormed a bit, and I suggested that rather than try and wean the baby from mom's bed, we do the reverse - wean mom from baby's room.

Mom moved a bed (or maybe it was a mattress) into the tot's room, and slept there every night for two or three weeks. After a while, when the room was established in the child's mind as "hers", mom started weaning herself out of her child's room.

Two months later, tot is staying in her own bed well over 90% of the time.

Could something like this be adapted to your situation?

It's a brilliant solution, Mary P. Except....Diva Girl is already sleeping alone under duress, and I'm not sure bunking in would help that situation. And if one of them is going to stay in her own bed, I'd prefer it be the one I shelled out $300 for :)

Plus, and this is the key, I think I might actually be a grownup now--the idea of sleeping in there, surrounded by their dolls and stuffies and whatnot, well, it gives me the willies.

I don't really care that much. I've just got to train her away from lying all over me. And start spending more time in the living room again, I guess.

Oh, I'm so glad to hear someone else going through the same thing. There's light at the end of the tunnel. I remind myself of this every night. My seven-year-old boy now sleeps through the night in his very own bed, and only comes to see us if he has a nightmare. (That's okay, because when I have a nightmare I go sleep with him.) It may take a short time or a long time, but it will seem like a looong time and then, it'll be over.
Sleepless in China,
Josianne
P.S. I've been reading your blog for a while now and I love it. Keep it up!

I have to LOL! I'm in the middle of "Operation get my bed back" right now too! My 2 yr old will now GO to sleep in his own bed, but he has his "midnight migrations" - so every morning I wake up with him cuddled right up next to me.

I don't mind so much as long as he's going to sleep, in the big boy bed, at a decent time. It'd be better if he wasn't a night time ninja too (those gut kicks are rough, huh?) but I figure it'll come. My older boy eventually stopped his "midnight migrations" and this one will too. At least I get to fall asleep alone even if I don't wake up that way!

It'll happen, hang in there! At least that's what I tell myself!

I have a visitor at about 6 a.m. every morning, but I can hang with the cuddles for that short an amount of time. Last week, though, the boy and I were in a hotel room together, where we had to share a bed. Sadly, he likes to sleep with his feet on my pillow. Not too fun.