Happy Birthday to Me

So, I turned 35 today. I'm not sure how I feel about that. 35 feels old, and I don't feel old, exactly. Although I do feel old enough to worry about it.

I loved turning 30. None of that "29 and holding" stuff for me. I proudly embraced entering my thirties. Thirty was exciting, promising the credibility of maturity coupled with the possibilities of youth. It was the gateway to the adult world, and I happily skipped through to take my rightful place at the grownups' table, confident that the best was yet to come.

A lot has happened between then and now: I moved out of the basement apartment--lovingly referred to as "the hovel"--that Diva Girl and I lived in for the first 4.5 years of her life into the 8th storey beige box we now call home. I had a second baby and went from holding my own to being outnumbered by the inmates in my asylum. We spent the longest three weeks of my life living in a pediatric oncology unit and walked out with a miracle I hadn't even let myself hope for. The Zen Baby has grown from a scared, silent shadow into a vibrant, sociable chatterbox, something I worried I'd never see. I gave up fulltime teaching and fulfilled a dream I'd forgotten I had by becoming a professional writer (of sorts). I reconnected with the best friend I thought I'd lost forever, and didn't lose her again when she moved 3000 km away (although I miss her every day). I made some friends (and enemies), killed some fish, got a kitten, and recovered enough from the trauma of a really, really bad haircut to not only embrace the idea of short hair, but to act on it.

But, in spite of all that, I just don't feel like 5 years have passed. That I'm now halfway through my thirties.

Thirtyfive year olds are not just grown ups, they are Grown Up. I guess I just didn't picture this being my life at 35. I'm not quite sure what I did picture, but I'm pretty sure eating dinner off of the Spiderman plate didn't figure into the plan. And if I'm honest, I guess at some point, a husband did figure into that. Thirtyfive year olds have car payments and mortgages and 'm pretty sure Spongebob will get his license before I get mine and I have no interest in homeownership. The thing is, though, I'm ok with the way things are now. Happy with it, even. I may not feel like your typical Grown Up 35 year old, but I feel like me, which is even better, I think.

And I still think that the best is yet to come.

Comments

Happy Birthday!!!!!

Happy Birthday!

I know what you mean--for me, turning 35 meant that I could no longer say I was in my early 30s, and that was somehow...different in a way I didn't expect.

Hope you had a wonderful day--how did the girls help you celebrate?

We're not even a month apart! We're so twinny.

When you're 40, you get to eat dinner off Spider-Man.

Happy Birthday!

I have a year on you and don't quite feel Grown Up yet. There's always next year. :)

Happy birthday, congratulations on all of your accomplishments, hope you and the girls had a wonderful day.

I know how you feel. I just turned 40 and even though I'm Ok with the birthday as an age, it has me looking back on where I am, verses where I expected to be. I'm raising my 2 awesome step children, but after 6 years of trying, still don't have one of my own. I'm on my third marriage, (this one is almost 11 years and I still like him) which I never thought I would have one divorce. I have so many unanswered prayers and lost dreams, but I still very happy with my life. 35 is not bad, but I think 40 is going to be even better.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday honey!

Well, we sure as hell didn't make cupcakes, landismom!

And I'm suddenly looking forward to 40.

Thanks everybody.

Happy Birthday Sunshine... sorry it's late. and if it makes you feel better you can come over and kick me in the ass to get moving again :) Hope it was a good one.

I'm late, but happy-happy, girl! Hope you enjoyed your day to the fullest!

Very belated Happy Birthday. I'll have to change my bloglines to show this site.