Too Much Of A Good Mom

You know, she's called Diva Girl for a reason. And I'll admit, sometimes I'm not the nicest of mommies. I lose my patience. I get frustrated. I yell. But given the week we've had, I think the whole "You don't love me! You're the meanest mommy ever! You never do anything nice!!!" trip is a wee bit uncalled for, even if I did clean her junk up out of the livingroom using the garbage bag method. (But only after politely inviting her to get on that herself for the past two days). Let's look at the week in review, shall we?

Friday: Took Diva Girl and Zen Baby out to dinner, and then to an evening playdate at her best friend's house that lasted far longer into the night than it should have.

Saturday: Hung out at my parents' garage sale all day so that Diva Girl could expereince the thrill of the sale. Then took her to a farewell barbeque for her other best friend, who is moving. Again, allowed her to play far longer into the night than was really rational.

Sunday: The Ladies spent the day being spoiled by their grandparents.

Monday: Allowed Diva Girl to play hookey. She was so tired after her weekend, I figured she could use a day to rest.

Tuesday: IWent on her class trip to the park, and then spent thirty dollars on raffle and bouncy castle tickets, in addition to getting myself covered in cotton candy, all in the name of supporting Sabrina's school.

Wednesday: Just an ordinary day.

Thurday: Pizza Day. So I ponied up $5 for a couple of pepperoni slices and a bag of chips, rather than inflicting a nutritious lunch on the kid.

Friday: IAllowed Sabrina to skive off school again; her sister was going to see Barney, and I didn't want her to miss out. And took her shopping. And bought her a new outfit. That she got absolutely filthy at the birthday party I took her to tonight.

Then I asked her to help out by picking up the myriad craft supplies she had strewn about the livingroom. That's when the screaming started.

I'm trying to keep my cool about it all and recognize that maybe the problem is that I've been too nice lately; in not wanting her to miss out, I've said yes to too many things and overloaded her system. And seven year-olds aren't exactly known for their longterm memory skills or their gratitude. But in all honestly, while I don't subscirbe to the martyr school of motherhood, I'm finding the total lack of appreciation a bit hard to take right now. Especially since I'm not getting any presents on Sunday.

Comments

My son's favorite words are, "but I need it Mommy"! We are trying to learn the difference between want and need and how every trip to the store does not Include getting a "surprise". However I am only to blame, since I usually do bribe him into getting a "surprise" if he's good in the store. Stay firm and ignore the puppy eyes!!!
Oh yeah and by the way the "Im going to throw your toys in the trash if you don't pick them up" thing works wonders. I've never seen a kid clean up so fast. LOL

You just can't win sometimes eh? Good luck with this coming week!

I'm sorry but I can't jump on this bandwagon. You allow your child to miss school because YOU didn't get her enough rest. I'm sorry, but that just sucks. We have responsibilities all our lives and school is one of them. It comes second to play and Barney, sorry.
I'm not surprised she acted out either.

I'm with Holly on this. Missing school based on a schedule that you allowed your daughter to keep is just wrong. Yes, you feel sorry for them. Yes, you want them to have downtime but at what point is it time to teach them that we can't always play. We have to get up in the morning and be responsible for our lives. And this, yes even at the age of seven, is important. First or second grade education is just as important as the years that follow.

I am not surprised your daughter acted that way, either. It's not too much of a good mom, it's too much of a buddy.

Sorry I empathise with your plight because I have a 3yr old Drama Queen myself, but I have to say that giving in to skipping school is really unwise. You are really setting yourself up for drama when you don't stick to your schedule. She is a Diva because you have shown her how easy of a push over you can be.

I do love your garbage cleaning trick. That I am sure is effective.

And you writing style is absolutely entertaining. Look forward to next week.

I sincerely wish that your daughters will grow up to love you twice as much as you love them now. You're doing your best, and that is all anyone can ever ask for. Continue to stay involved and in communication with them, especially during their teenage years.
Of course it would feel terrible to not feel appreciated. Maybe start by reinforcing manners, for example by reminding them to say their "please" and "thank yous" more often before you do them a favor.
Most importantly, it is you who needs to stay happy and healthy. Don't overdo yourself for your children with the school activities and such, because it'll exhaust you. It's always easier to set yourself limits and make goals with a mind that's less strained.
That day was just one of those down days, and you have to trust that you'll one day receive the merits of the hard work put in raising your daughters well.

I am going to echo Holly. You have responsibilites as the Mom, try and live up to them. In a previous entry you stated that you were "highly educated". I am doubtful since you seem to place sucl little importance on Diva Girl's education.

I know it's hard to take flack about your parenting on your blog. That said, my comment about this post (along with a few others) is, if you don't set standards for your daughters now, how in the world are they ever going to be able to set them for themselves? Not to mention, other people in their lives.

I know this is just one post and one glimpse into your life, but the theme seems to be the same. You're right, your situation is unique being the only parent but the luxury of being lax is just something you don't have. Period. You are the role model, you're it. You have to stick to the guns, even when the kid is tired and hates you. If you think seven is hard, wait until she's fifteen and won't speak to you. Then, you will need those standards and rules more than ever.

You have no choice but to be the hard-ass bad guy a large percentage of the time. They're pushing you as far as you'll let them. They don't need a buddy, they need limits. And with those, they will thrive.

Well, Sabrina would more than likely beg to differ at being called my "budy." What with all the picking up the toys, eatng vegetables, and walking to school she's expected to do, I'm usually the "meanest Mama ever!" And I clearly "don't love her!" since I won't let her watch PG 13 movies or stay up until 10 on a school night.

But both of The Ladies *are* thriving. So much more so than I ever could have hoped.

Yet, still her 'budy' let's her miss school regularly for your owm agenda. Curious.

Hi--I'm also a solo mum (I like solo rather than single--it says independant as opposed to bereft). I'm also a student. I love to play with my 7-yr-old and, yes, sometimes I too take her 'out of the game' just for a break. While I emphasize the importance of education by doing homework first, saying "when" she goes to university (sets up the expectation that she will pursue higher education), etc. I also realize that childhood is short and as long as we make up for the undone work then a rare break can give you renewed energy to go on. I just have to let her know where the line(s) are drawn. ;) I guess I'm not the only "mean, nasty" mother around! Drama queens can be quite trying! :o)