Kimberly's Choice

It is one of the inevitables when parenting multiple children that at any given time, they will have conflicting needs and wants. And the greater the need of one child, the more intense the want of the other.

After three months of waiting and watching her teeth slowly deteriorate, Regan is finally scheduled for her surgery to have them cleaned and capped. On the same day that I had already agreed to supervise Sabrina's field trip. Regan needs this procedure. Sabrina desperately wants me to go on her field trip. And so I am left feeling pulled between my conflicting responsibilities as a mother.

To up the ante, this is not the first time I have been put in a position to choose between my children. Last year I spent a month living in the hospital with Regan while Sabrina stayed with her grandparents. Sabrina was loved and spoiled and taken care of in every way possible. And Regan, at barely a year old, needed me with her as her tumour was dealt with. I did the best that I could to do right by my girls. But the fact remains that I am only one person and I could only be with one child. And I chose Regan. It was the right choice, but it was a choice. And at six years old, that's all my Diva Girl was really able to understand: That I didn't choose her.

This scheduling conflict is the same drama in a smaller scale. I need to make a choice as to which daughter will have my time and my attention. And much though I am sure Zen Baby will want me to be there with her as she recovers from this most recent indignity to her small body, Sabrina needs me to be with her. To choose her. So this time the roles will be reversed and I will choose to spend my time with Diva Girl and the Zen Baby will rely on Grandma and Grandpa to take care of her in my absence.

And me? I'll toss another quarter in the therapy jars to cover all the mommy guilt. Or just blog it. That works too.

Comments

Grandma's and Granpa's are the best. of course nothing is as good as Mommy but it helps to have them around.