What Should We Name The Baby?

It's the first, and quite possibly biggest decision you make for your child. One fraught with emotional landmines and potential for some spectacular standoffs. Watching my brothers undergo the process with their wives and my girlfriends work through it with their husbands, I've come to the conclusion that it is probably the ultimate exercise in negotiation. And, as Monica pointed out in my very first comment ever, one of the greatest perks of being a solo mom.

I named both of my daughters. I talked about their names with people and considered the suggestions and explored the possibilities those converstations opened up, but when it came right down to it, I named The Ladies what I pleased because it pleased me.

Sabrina, my Diva Girl, was named because I loved the name Bree (pre-Desperate Housewives, but unfortunately at the height of the Teenage Witch era), but I didn't want to name my daughter Brianna or any variation thereof. In 1998 it seemed like every baby not named Madison or Emily was a Brianna. As a Kimberly from the 1970s, I know what it's like to share your name with three or four of your classmates; it's not a fate I wanted my daughter to share. So I set my mind to coming up with a name that could be shortened to Bree, but that was not Brianna. When Sabrina came to me, I knew that that was my daughter's name.

I had no such certainty about Regan's name. For one thing, I'd thought she was going to be a boy. I had a boy name--Quinn--picked out that I felt as certain about as I had with Sabrina. So, when the midwife in the delivery room asked me what my daughter's name was, my first answer was "I don't know."

I love the name Piper. It sings to me. But my Zen Baby was born during the last gasp of Aaron Spelling's Witchcraft 90210: Charmed. Now, in the 5 years of being Sabrina's mother, I had already heard enough "Teenage WItch" comments to last me a lifetime. So, much though I loved the name Piper, I just couldn't get behind the idea of naming both of my daughters after television witches. Piper was out.

From the first time I read King Lear, the name Regan has captivated me. It's different. Strong, yet feminine. Sure, she's one of the evil daughters in the play, but the name strikes a chord in me that has lasted for over a decade. Plus, Cordelia, the good daughter, is also the name of one of the lead characters on Angel, another supernatural tv show. So, when I was at a loss for what to call this new little pink bundle, I reached back for the one name that has stuck with me all these years, and christened her Regan.

I need to add the disclaimer here that I am not a fan of scary movies. I'll admit it; I'm a big girly wimp and they give me nightmares. So I don't watch them, and I don't really know much about them. You can imagine my horror, then, when when Sabrina's crossing guard, hearing the new baby's name for the first time, looked at me and said, "Oh, like in The Exorcist."

Blink. Blink Blink.

Seeking to avoid naming my daughter after a semi-famous witch, I instead managed to name her after one of the most famous demonically possessed children in all of media.

Oh well, I still like their names, and fortunately, that's all that really matters.

Comments

I was with my son's father until he was 1 so unfortunately I had to share the name choice decision. We knew we were having a boy and he was STUCK on having a Jr. which I totally dispise unless you are from some oil tycoon billionare family. I however wanted names like Ryan, Matthew, Jacob, normal sweet names that would also be strong names as he grew into a man.
He was so stuck on a Jr. and also did not want a name that could be made into a nickname (Matthew = Matt)so we compromised and decided we would give him his initals ADC. So then we COULD NOT agree on any "A" names. One day we were dicussing it and my mom walked in the room and said "What about Austin?" It was the first name that both of us just looked at each other and totally fell in love with.
I am glad now that I didn't name him Ryan, Matthew, etc... because there are so many kids in his daycare with those names and my baby boy is a one of a kind!

Good choice on not choosing Madison...ugh...there about 4 I children I know with that name just within my circle of friends. I loved the name "Milynn" from Steel Magnolias...it was my decision, but I didn't know how it was spelled. The credits in the film were too small. So I let my, then husband, choose the spelling. Millyn. I wish I hadn't done that. I've heard the endless "million" comments. Too late now.
(although being 8, she prefers her nickname Milly over Millyn) *sigh*

Hello Kimberley.....welcome to iVillage blog space. I just read a couple of your previous posts & I must admit that you're one "in-control" mum - kudos!
I'm single, and with no kids yet....so although I may not always understand the myriad mysteries of motherhood, I do appreciate the insight I recieve by reading your posts.
But I can't ever imagine how I would ever not buy myself shoes...even in an attempt to put my babies (when I have them) and their needs before mine!!
See a shoe I like, well, just gotta have it!!

Cheers!

In Steel Magnolias, the name is spelled M'Lynn. I'm actually not sure that you would have chosen that spelling even if you'd known it!

Why does eveyone have to comment on your child's name. I named my daughter Macy and now people ask if my next one will be Dillards or Famous Barr. Ugh!

Love the Blog, nice to know we aren't alone in the single mom universe!

I'm a single mom, too. I was POSITIVE I was having a girl, so I had Aslan Trinity picked out. I had Tristan on reserve for a boy, just in case.

Well, lo and behold, my supposed-to-be-pink bundle was all boy. And Tristan turned out to be way too alliterative when matched with my last name.

Baby boy was nameless for almost a week...until I picked Seth. I THOUGHT it was an unusual enough name that there wouldn't be a million Seth's running around.

I truly never met a Seth - until I named my kid. They're everywhere. LOL

I'm having my first child, a boy, this July. I am still involved with the babys father, but I was unsure about naming him a Jr. Which is what he wanted to begin with. We have since settled on the name Landen Alexander.

I used to work with a woman who had 2 children. Both are boys. The oldest one's name is Dakota (Think Dodge Dakota) and the youngest one's name is Chevy (Think Chevy Truck). This is not the route I would take when naming children but to each his own I guess.

My boyfriend and I like the name Emily Fay Marsha (middle names are after our mothers) and Jennelle Cailey (Jenn for Jennifer which is my name, Elle for my mother's middle name which is Ella, and Cailey is for my grandmothers, one is named Kaye and the other's middle name is Catherine, my middle name is Katherine as well so we changed the spelling of Cailey to accomadate everyone's names just incase we only have the one daughter. Lee is my boyfriend's mom's middle name and we changed it's spelling as well but we both think it's a sweet name.

For boys I like the names Logan, Ethan or Jacob with the middle names being Trevor David (Trevor is my man and David is my dad.)

Jennifer

Jennifer ~ Do not pick Jacob. There are a million kids named Jacob right now and your child will have to be Jacob R. or Jacob S. or whatever. Take it from me. I was Stephanie with a PH for about 3 years in Elementary School!

Hi everyone,
I am currently pregnant and single with my second child. It is a boy. I was at first involved with the father and he said that he and he alone would make the decision on naming the baby. I soon left him after that, and it was a very wise choice.(he was a controlling manipulator) Anyway, I have decided to name him Jeremiah Jacob. I really like the name because we can call him J.J. for short and because it has Biblical meaning as well.
For my daughter I made sure to pick a name that was not one that you would hear often. I named her after her great great Cherokee grandmother. Her name is Mahala Rose. Everyone comments on how they love her name because it is so unique. Glad I picked that one! ( :

My boyfriend and I are actually having an ok time with names - Paige Elizabeth for a girl and so far we like Brody for a boy. The difficulty lies in which last name we should use. The names we have selected work well with his surname. I only recently considered using my last name and my first name options would have to change. Is there any protocol for which last name is more appropriate to use?

I would say that unless you are absolutely, 100% certain that this man is going to be in your life for the rest of your life, use your own last name.

Also, you should check out the official government position where you live. It varies, but some places have strict rules about surnames, esp. in regards to children born outside of a marital union.

I like both names. My daughter is a Cordelia, and it gets aggravating to be asked if she is named after a Buffy character or a Tragically Hip song. *sigh*

when i named my daughter chloe 12 years ago everyone said 'oh how unusual' but now if you call the name chloe, more than a few girls will turn! I called my son jude before i knew of the actor jude law but many people thought he was a girl (blonde curls!) and thought it was short for judith, having never known a judith i only knew the name as short for julian.you try so hard to be original but always seem to start a trend!

I can beat those with one arm tied behind my back...a beautiful little girl in my daughter's class is named Heaven. Yep, Heaven. Her middle name you ask? Leigh. Her last? Angel.

Heaven Leigh Angel

Seriously.

Hello - love your blog! My daughter's name is Mickayla. I heard the name first on that movie For Keeps with Molly Ringwald. She was the snooty character that was always trying to steal Molly's man. Then there was the darn Medicine Women... Anyway. my father passed away when I was little and his name was Mick so I wanted to name my child after him.
I have always thought that it is a shame to have a name totally picked out before you have the baby. You don't even name a fish before you see it. I think it is a great idea to have two or three names picked out and then make the final decision when you meet your child. I think that lets your baby have a part in the naming. Just my opinion.

i'm a single mom of two girls as well and i loved picking out my girls names!! i was still with their father when i picked out number one's name, but i was the one giving birth, so it was only fair that i pick her name, right? lol, her name is Riley Lynn Tierney. Lynn is my mama's middle name and Tierney is my bff from h.s. middle name, i just saw Riley in a magazine and liked it... when you know, you know... you know? my second's name is Joplin Marin Ann Marin is my dad's middle name without the "o" Ann is their paternal g-ma's and two of their aunt's middle name... Joplin is from the late great Janis, people name their kids Marley, right?? anyway, naming kids should ultimately be left up to the women and unless the father's name is truly wonderful, there's no need to repeat it, am i right??

My poor little boy has the longest name in the world, however I couldn't settle on anything else. He is officially Nicholas Sebastian Mussiett-Cubitt.

My ex-boyfriend ( the Mussiett in the name) was adament about having the name hyphenated before he would sign the affadavit to paternity. (ugh) However, I named him what I wanted. I loved Sebastian from the first time it was suggested to me by my father. He wanted to name one of my brothers that, but didn't win against my mothers objections. Now she loves it. I loved the name Nicholas, but since it is so common, we call him Sebastian. So my poor kid will need to be pretty smart to learn how to spell all his many names. And he will also have to explain to everyone why he goes by his middle name and has two last names. Am I just awful? Tell me that I am not!

How wierd...in my family we're trying to think of names for my sister's daughters that she's adopting from China (twins) and lately we've fallen in LOVE with the name Piper. Also, my daughter's middle name is Quinn. I named her Molly Quinn...and deplorably, I loved the name "Moll" from Moll Flanders and at the same time I was breeding Mollies (the fish) for fun. I loved being able to come up with my daughter's name all by myself (albeit after a crooked character in a book and a type of fish) and I'll never forget when it hit me and I KNEW that was going to be her name. I just hope I haven't confused her too much by naming a biracial (black/white) baby a fully and obviously Irish name.

When I was pregnant with my second son (Connor Patrick), I was looking up names online...one site claimed Tyrone is an Irish name. BTW, first son? Hunter Reilly. :D Got to love those names, I sure do.

Does anyone know the meaning of the name M'Lynn? That is my step-daughters name.

After being a teacher for 13 years and hearing and enduring many different names, I found it difficult when it came to naming my bundle of joy. I had associated so many different behaviors with certain namees. I went into the delivery room with a name I had never encountered and my husband wasn't sure of, but my daughter has lived up to the beautiful name CHLOE MARIE. My husband agrees now with the name it suits her personality, outgoing and percoucious.

What a great blog! I'm in quite the name debate right now with the guy I've been dating. I don't think there's much of a future for us. but he is INSISTING that the baby have his last name. It's a boy, and he wants the baby to have his middle name as his first name, and then his last name. There is NO compromising with him.

He brings up a lot of good points. I think there's a lot to be said for having pride in your family name, geneology, and especially as a boy, carrying in your father's name. I mean, what if he never has anymore children, or only girls, and this was his one chance to leave a legacy.

Since I will have primary custody, I want the baby to have my name. I want him to have the option of changing it as he gets older, or if I get married, having my husband be able to adopt him. Basically, since we're not married, I think the baby should have my last name.

And now I am "crushing a quarter-century dream" of his. :::sigh::: What to do?